Hello Fabulous Readers of El Blog de Annameekee!
And a Happy New Year to you! With all this New Year’s Resolutions chat clogging up the blogosphere, or whatever it’s called these days, I thought, “Hey, you know what? Why do I have to change? Imma write me a blog about the ways that I am going to stay exactly as I am!” This is not so say that I think I am perfect- oh no- far from it! However, there are some things that I did last year and the years before that I want to continue to do. And here they are! Feel free to borrow them; they have been working well for me and have made my life a whole lot better
1. Eating Gelato and Watching Daily Show While Taking a Bath
Oh, Shikai Cucumber Melon Bubble Bath! Take me away! It’s true, I love me some Daily Show (And Colbert Report!) and Salted Caramel Gelato while comfortably ensconced in a too-small-for-me tub filled with hot water and bubbles up to my ears. There’s something so decadent about it…the stuff rock stars or royalty get to do, so why not me? Why not you? Give it a try! All you need is a plant stand, wireless internet, a laptop, and a bowl of your fav ice cream. Indulge! You deserve it! (And do it every night!)
2. Playing the Maybe Game
Pollyanna was on to something when she created her “Glad Game” to cheer up all her pals in Beldingsville. I have a similar game, but I call it the “Maybe Game.”
It’s easy to play and could change your whole outlook on life. Say you are driving to get more gelato. Someone cuts you off- no blinker, no sorry wave, nothing. Now, you have two choices here. 1. Get irritated and bothered and cuss them out and honk your horn and, in some way, have your mood negatively impacted by the rudeness of another. Or, 2. Play the “Maybe Game”!! Here’s how- After someone does something awful or rude, you think things like this: Maybe he was in a hurry to get to his daughter’s side because she was just dumped by her jerk of a boyfriend who ended up cheating on her with her best friend. Maybe he just found out he has to get a root canal and he is stricken with anxiety about it (just like I would be!). Maybe he just met the man of his dreams and all he can think about is how he’s going to get his attention next time they meet. See, it’s easy! My boss at New Teacher Project calls it Positive Presupposition. I call it the “Maybe Game!” Give it a try in all sorts of situations! (I have to use it A LOT at Safeway) You will begin to feel instantly calmer and even a bit more empathetic toward others. Now isn’t that better?
3. Being my Pets’ Servant
When the cat wants food, the cat gets food. When she wants to snuggle (even when I am typing on my laptop) the cat gets to snuggle and I am forced try to type with one hand and no visible keyboard. If the dogs want a walk, the dogs get a walk. Pets don’t live forever (don’t tell Matisse), but they sure are loyal, and loving, and sweet, and forgiving so why not indulge them in their needs once in a while?
No matter my mood, it is instantly lifted by my pets. Whether it’s a noggin bump by Matisse, a paw and nudge by Aggie, or an adorable head tilt by Jaxson, my anxiety, stress, sadness, anger just drifts away. My pets aren’t name brand, they aren’t perfectly well-behaved (Did I ever tell you the one about the cashmere sweater Matisse destroyed….tags still attached?!), and they are expensive (see previous comment!), but they sure are adorbs.
4. Wearing High Heels Once in a While Even Though I Am a Tall Lesbian
In case you haven’t seen me yet in person, I should inform you that I am tall. I am not CRAZY TALL, but tall enough so that people who don’t know me say things like, “You are tall.” When I am doing my thing, you know living my cray cray life as a new teacher mentor, I don’t necessarily feel tall. Of course, when I stand next to some of you shorties (shout out to my BFF, Caseymeekee), I do feel like a giant that could eat you alive, but in general, I feel “normal.”
In high school, I didn’t wear heels because I felt self-conscious about my height and because I couldn’t afford shoes that weren’t from Payless and the only heels at Payless were giant white boats that would only look right if I was at an Easter gathering or a wedding- my own. So, it was flats all through high school because, goddess help me, I wouldn’t want to encourage any more of those great nicknames- Jolly Green Giant, Olive Oil, and Big Bird to name a few. But, once I grew older, wiser, and bolder (And got a job!), I said screw it! I’m here, I’m queer, I’m tall, and I want to where some fancy ass heels! So, once in a while, I put on my sassy heels and go to work or go out and the people say, “You are tall,” and I say, “I know, huh!” Here are some that I just bought. I can’t wait to wear them to my readings!! Sassy!!!
5. Feeding My New Teachers and Friends
I like food. I like free food. I like yummy food. I like food with chocolate. I like food that is comforting and filling. So, when I go visit my new teachers and friends at school and can tell they haven’t had food in a while, I feed them whatever I can. I will give away my own lunch and lie and say that I already ate just so they can have some food. I will make special stops at Subway and order their favorites. I will stay up late baking cookies (and eating dough) just so I can be armed with goodies during my rounds. I will even go halfsies on my favorite breakfast burrito- that’s when you know you are special! I will carry around cupcakes and hand deliver them to each of my friends because they are lovely and deserve a free cupcake!
There should be more food available to teachers at school. Did you know that at my school, they CHARGE TEACHERS MORE for lunch? What the what? Besides the fact that the food is DISGUSTING, it isn’t even enough to fill the tummy of a five year old, let alone an adolescent or teacher.
In my perfect world, pants would be longer and teachers would have catered lunches every day. Why should backstabbing, lying, cheating CEO’s get free lunches and our teachers get dried up pizza slices and apples with more bruises than my knees had in high school? Well, until my perfect world happens, I will feed my teacher friends. If you know a teacher, give her/him some homemade food or gift certificates for food or half of your fave breakfast burrito. They will be happy and you will be happy and the students will be happy. The principals will probably not be happy, but that’s because you didn’t bring them any food.
That’s it for now, folks! I hope that you continue to do the wonderful things that you have already been doing. And while you’re at it, tell me about some things that I should try! If you don’t, it’s okay…maybe you are really busy with school, or maybe you have a bad cold, or maybe you cut your thumb and it hurts to type…
Keep on being fabulous and making the world a better place. So glad you were born and I hope to see you in person soon! (Maybe at one of my readings coming up- see “events” tab on webbie site for details!)
Peace, love, bubble baths, and high heels!