“Don’t waste your time blogging,” say the experts. “Sleep with as many of your local librarians and booksellers as you can!”
The industry panel was quite informative, I must say. It was a motley, helpful, AND professional crew of panelist that certainly did not hold back. In addition to the above advice, here’s what else I learned (the abbreviated version, anyway…after all, I don’t have time for this blogging crap.)
1. I can’t afford a publicist and I never will be able to afford one.
2. Being well-spoken and charismatic are good qualities to have if you plan on trying to sell your books to people who are not in your immediate family.
3. You should be nice to the people who are in charge of selling your book. (Pies are a nice touch)
4. Know what you want to say about your book. Be prepared and act excited about it, like you haven’t read it 101 times and are sick as hell about talking about it.
5. You will not get rich as a writer, so figure out why else you are doing it and keep on doing it if it involves not getting rich…or something along those lines. I stopped listening after, “You will not get rich…”
The good news is that I know why I write and it’s not to get rich or have fame. I write these stories so that my adorable lesbian students, and all adorable teen lesbians around the globe, can have something funny and sweet and exciting to read. I’ll keep my day job as a teacher- I mean, that’s where the big money is, after all. I mean…I’m so hella rich. Ha ha. Sarcasm.
My YA group is a fascinatingly talented crew, and they all have so much to offer. I have learned buckets and buckets of new things. I really admire their work and continue to feel like the luckiest little/big lesbian for being selected by THE ALEX SANCHEZ to be here this week. He is such a kind, patient, and smart writer and person. I want to be like him when I grow up.
I got off campus twice today. The first time, Jacks, Bridget, and I took a lovely drive (not) down Muholland Highway. We arrived at a lovely urban forest (not) and took an invigorating hike through the trees (I wish.) We also shared our coming out stories while simultaneously being honked at by as!%@$# trying to let us know that they were in a really big hurry, just like the other hundred or so people stuck in traffic (true). They (Bridget and Jacks- not the asses honking) made the trip worth while, though, and their stories were much better than mine. I need to make up a better coming out story. Email suggestions to me.
Then, AJ, Alysia, Kenny, Nina and I all piled into AJ’s surprisingly clean car and headed for, you know it, FRO YO! I advocated for Yogurtland, so with the help of a smartphone and my SUPERB backseat driving skills, we arrived and chowed down on the first thing this week that had no potential of giving me heartburn. It was like spooning heaven into my mouth, if heaven was made out of Salted Carmel yogurt sprinkled with bits of Reese’s, toffee, and strawberries, which I think it is. Then, I bought toothpaste. Oh, and Ricky Martin showed up. It was a five star event.
Well, who’s the time waster now, huh? I may have wasted time writing a blog, but you, my friend, read it! Ha ha! Take that! I’m just kidding. I take that back. I love you, now please buy my book (Available at Bold Stroke Books). Is that how this works??
Peace, love, and Tylenol PM,